North
by Gnasher the Dog (aka Mike Knipe)
There's magnetic north, grid north and another one, er . . . Very North I think. Don't worry about it. I mean North is North.
The compass is supposed to point North, but mine doesn't, so my best advice is, take no notice.
Useful phrase: "North? Why is it so important anyway? Who wants to walk North? Its full of flat caps, whippets and tripe shops. I mean, you'd be better off in Brighton. At least you get a decent quiche an' a nice drop of beajolais nooovaux. None of that deep-fried mars bar an'a pint o' diesel, an' our Jack's been laid off as there's trouble at t'mill . . . ."
(NB. The characters portrayed in this guide are fictitious and any resemblence to real people living or dead is purely coincidental. Ed)
© Mike Knipe. Mike Knipe is an experienced outdoor enthusiast, walk leader and writer who has worked with Durham County Council and English Nature (aka Natural England).
Other articles by Mike Knipe on go4awalk.com include:
The Art of Getting Lost . . .
How to start Peak Bagging . . .
How to sound like a walking expert . . . (writing as Gnasher the Dog) and
Is that a Mitt in your pocket - or are you just pleased to see me?