Contouring
by Gnasher the Dog (aka Mike Knipe)
So, you are out walking when you see a hill that you've never been up before. But in the way is a dull and boring hill that you have been up loads of times. Solution? Contouring!
Basically, what you do is walk around the hill that's in the way, as opposed to over it. The theory is that this is easier. The theory is wrong.
You'll encounter bog, crag, scree, deep, tussocky grass, a stalker looking for North, and an electric fence.
Also - if you do too much of it, one leg will develop more than the other, which is fine on the hillside, but a distinct disadvantage in the King's Head, where the list to the right (or left, depending on the direction of the contouring), will result in a somewhat crooked posture. This will become empirically proved by the slant of the meniscus on the pint in hand, and consequent spillage, which is not what you want.
Useful phrase: "No, I'm not drunk, I've been contouring"
© Mike Knipe. Mike Knipe is an experienced outdoor enthusiast, walk leader and writer who has worked with Durham County Council and English Nature (aka Natural England).
Other articles by Mike Knipe on go4awalk.com include:
The Art of Getting Lost . . .
How to start Peak Bagging . . .
How to sound like a walking expert . . . (writing as Gnasher the Dog) and
Is that a Mitt in your pocket - or are you just pleased to see me?